YOUR MARITAL HEALTH/WHY HUSBANDS DON’T HAVE ORGASM: THE FRICTION FALLACY

Just put your first two fingers against your thumb and move your hand up and down and everyone will know what you mean. That is how men come.

TEENAGER

The early perspectives of sexuality asserted that men experience orgasm by thrusting, resulting in friction to the outer third of the penile shaft, which in turn resulted in “orgasm” and an “organ” emphasis. Men grow up believing and learning that there is one way to “come” and that is to have friction applied to the penis in a steady rhythm. This belief is one of the reasons that men learn to be the “do-it-to-ers” rather than receivers. For men, movement is sex.

A key to learning super marital sex is for men to learn to be still. While women were liberated when “even nice women moved their hips during sex,” men will be liberated when they learn that they can be still, that orgasm and psychasm can be received, not just achieved.

One of the most difficult assignments for husbands in the super marital sex program was to try to hold their pelvis still, not by effort but by surrender, while their wife stimulated their genitals. It took a while, but when the husbands learned this technique, they were amazed at the range of sensations that resulted. “I have never in my life felt anything like it. It actually happened to me without me trying to make it happen. What a trip!” This husband was like many others who reported a new freedom of choice in sexual interactions when they discovered the F and R areas and choices beyond friction and movement.

Masters and Johnson state that male sexual response is exclusively in the glans or end of the penis and the shaft of the penis. This is not the case. The Hite Report in 1980 and my own data indicate that men also masturbate by gently stroking their scrotum and that the penis is the “main place” only if that is the lesson that is repeated throughout life and the design of the love map.

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